My daily routine doesn’t consist of much. I hardly get any nice surprises.
When I get up in the morning, I normally have to go on a treasure hunt 🔎 around the house to find my cheetah-skin patterned slippers. They are really fast 💨and it’s hard to keep up with them. I knew I should have bought the snail ones; they look ugly but at least I wouldn’t have to crawl on the floor with a net just to get them.
After I have my breakfast (breadcrumbs with milk), I go and do some online shopping. I am often interrupted by the winged rat 🐀 that lives in the attic. It occasionally flies down into my computer room 💻 to chew away at the wires. I have tried to dispose of it but doing so has given me a scar on my arm the shape of a wing.
When I finish doing my online shopping, I have a lunch of cereal and jam. I usually unearth some scarab beetle worm cross-breeds lurking in the cereal box. I wonder how they find their way around the house when they are completely blind. If they could move anywhere, why did it have to be my cereal box? Now my cereal has been turned into box-cereal cross-breeds.
Next up after lunch is my afternoon nap. It is very rare that I am not woken up every 5 minutes by the poltergeists 👻 partying in the basement. And when I say partying, I mean throwing chairs and tables, ripping open the walls and creating several explosions. 💥 I must say, poltergeists have a very peculiar daily routine.
Since my afternoon nap doesn’t last very long (thanks to the very silly poltergeists), I usually like to watch TV 📺 before having dinner. The shows aren’t very interesting; they’re things like ‘Cures for Magical Maladies’ and ‘Tara’s Transfiguration Tricks!’. If I am overcome by the boredom of these TV shows, I resort to the newspaper. 📰 But, the newspaper likes to play up too. I will sometimes be sucked into the finance column 💰 when money is at an all-time low, or into an exceptionally hard puzzle section. The neighbours get nicer things, like a weather forecast showing that it’s going to be sunny all week or a lifetime food discount.
I then go to bed 💤 after having dinner, which is quite the same as breakfast. I toss and turn for hours before going to sleep because of the irritating crushed Brownie sticks under my mattress, put there by Thambletick, the house Brownie. I guess he’s still angry at me for accidentally flushing one of his friends down the toilet. 🚽 I have to fish the sticks out with my hands every night. Only then can I get to sleep and dream about what I have to do tomorrow, which is always the same as today.
✍🏻 A Short Story & Doodle by The Pawsome Lion 🦁